garçonne

Growing up, our mothers warn us of the dangers of femininity.  I recall spending much of my childhood in tree houses, dropping out of ballet, and baking mud pies. Arguably, my mother provided safe territory for the development of my brooding self. No beer in high school and a strict warning to 'stay off the pole' in university helped to craft my sense of self and respectability. Leading to deep criticisms of my upbringing, the rules of femininity inspired by feminist thinkers brought me to recognize the role of childhood, adolescent and adult narratives in constructing two hyper-feminine female characters - The innocent and the temptress. 

Popular culture makes us believe that we have to make a choice between these feminine archetypes on the one hand and that we must embody each simultaneously on the other. We can dress in a particular way and engage in a particular manner using our female attributes associated with chastity and sexuality as sources of power. I will forever be horrified by the dance phenomenon that has girls as young as six shaking their hips in booty shorts and belly tops while their parents cheer on their not so innocent babies on stage. There is something so horribly wrong with a culture that promotes the sexualization of girls as if they were adults. This is where the complexities of contemporary femininity come into play: girls are expected to be children as well as seductive sirens; teens are demanded of their virginity while they push up their breasts with triple-padded lingerie; and women are expected to be hot mothers with no sexual desire. 

The idea that women live in a culture that demands of them an impossible double standard is not a new concept. In fact I'm sure women have experienced some form of such cultural attack for centuries. The point is that women are left little space to develop a sense of self free from the good versus bad woman narrative. Where do we begin in raising girls who are not removed from a sense of normality yet are provided a space in which to develop individually? Likewise, how do we encourage women to see through a different lens?

It's true, femininity is both poisonous and liberating - while it has proven to give women the power and security necessary for survival, it has taken down the strength of an otherwise boundless female power. 

Little girls, dancing nearly naked in competitions are gifted with a sense of belonging, of beauty, and competition. They learn that their bodies can be used against other girls and to get them what they want. They come to recognize that they will be praised for their work so long as it pleases the judges. In today's dance classes, we are not introducing our girls to the freedoms associated with knowledge, equality, or community, we are giving them the perception that beauty is their strongest suit. 

The innocent and the temptress narrative doesn't provide women with an opportunity to excel beyond a level designated for the female body. As the innocent they are docile and as the temptress they are punished for their rebellion. Needed is a discussion about those women who reject such atrocities, who challenge the discourse that tells them that they must be one or the other.